C-Day

This was the removal of the cancerous cells from Mom's nose day.
I was a few minutes late leaving work and then - Murphy's Law - hit every red light. She was glad to see me, then got weepy.
We walked to the car doing our very best Tim Conway little old man impression. Three minutes later she was laughing - "because that's what we do".
"Big woman, I had some on the inside.", she told me as we rounded the on ramp for 15/501.
Okay then now.

I drove like a bat out of hell to make up for my lateness on the front end. As we sat at our next to last light, I was fuming at myself (as if that would undo my prior miscalculation) and Mom said,
"It's not your fault and just lalalalalalala." (Anon CP - I think she was channeling you.)
Good advice Mom.

We got there past noon - two minutes late but it was okay. We waited about five minutes during which we read a Nat Geo and started on a People.
"Did I tell you about your aids? Well I meant to."
Then  we were summoned and shuffled off to the back offices (where they can't hear you scream...)
She wanted some gum (very impressed with my bubble blowing ability). I thought she was going to get down off the table to come get it, so I told her to wait I would bring it to her.
"Well I'm not going to fly over there."

Dr. B. came in and introduced himself. Too soft of a handshake for my liking, but I guess a light touch is best when someone is scooping flesh from your face.
He explained the procedure to Mom and asked if she had any questions. She strung together some words that had nothing to do with...well, anything. He looked surprised.
"I know but you have to." Coherency struggles through.

Hello, have you met my mother? She's four, but a damned good sport.

He got her to lie back ("You're trying to get me away from here!") and numbed her nose.

How is squamous cell carcinoma treated?

Techniques for treating squamous cell carcinoma are similar to those for basal cell carcinoma (for detailed descriptions, see above under treatment of basal cell carcinoma):

• Curettage and desiccation: Dermatologists often prefer this method, which consists of scooping out the basal cell carcinoma by using a spoon like instrument called a curette. Desiccation is the additional application of an electric current to control bleeding and kill the remaining cancer cells. The skin heals without stitching. This technique is best suited for small cancers in non-crucial areas such as the trunk and extremities.

Once again, Mom was a total trooper. Other than a couple of "icky"'s she didn't say a word. Good as gold.

We finished up and she wanted to get going somewhere (it was a gorgeous spring day today), but alas I had to go back to work. 

We headed to Burger King for a quick burger to go. I got rid of my gum in a tissue and asked if she had swallowed hers. 

"No!...[slight pause] Wait. No, someone else did inside."

Oh, so someone climbed inside your mouth and swallowed your gum.

"Yes."

Okay.

In the BK parking lot as I was unwrapping Mom's burger, I remembered I needed to go to the bank (right next door to the dermatologist that we were no longer next door to). I swore a little. I hate being inefficient. 

"Steadaling," Mom said.

Another Dr. Seuss word. 

A few minutes later, over some other imagined catastrophe, I blurted "F%$& me!"

Mom said, "I don't want to."

Omygah, I roared with laughter. 

When I left her at CB, she was dissecting her BK Whopper Junior.