Another Move

Friday, December 5, 2008
Mom is getting discharged from Hillcrest on December 10. Dr. Williams says it would be best for her not to go back to Emerald Pond, so I have five days (really three business days) to find an assisted living place and move Mom in. He has emailed a many paged document with all the assisted living places in Orange and Durham counties which was a huge help.

I visit one place in northern Durham that depresses me in spite of it being very clean and having a friendly staff. It's $4000 a month for what's basically a private hospital room. It's also far from my house and she can't have the dog there. I have appointments with two other facilities, both nice, but one is a bit farther away and she'll have to deal with an elevator again. Not that she can't, but in the dog walking event, it will be helpful to be on the ground floor. The pros to this place is that she can have a larger room (= keeping more stuff) and it's a bit less expensive than the other place that's in the running.

Kay volunteers to come out [again] to help me, she's coming Dec. 10. I sure am glad she is. Someone tells me we can get a medical stay of one more week before Medicare stops paying for the room - a huge reprieve.

I want to pick the best place for Mom, not what's more convenient for me, but I'm happy Kay likes the same place I like; it's close to me, her room will be on the ground floor, small dining rooms right down the hall, across the hall - a courtyard where she can take Mookie out. The cons: only one room and it's more expensive than the larger place.

The amount of money we've spent in the last six months is staggering. Moving up to NC, paying a mortgage and upkeep on a house [that will not sell] in FL, paying off all her credit cards, Tracy, her apartment here, $100 doctor visits, medical co-pays - it is overwhelming and depressing. She's about $1000 a month short. Now we need to buy different furniture because her old stuff is too big for her new place. Even more money...

Kay and I winnow down Mom's stuff one more time. We are surgical and calculating in our winnowing. If we don't recognize anyone in the photos - out it goes. Grandchildren of friends from 30 years ago - you don't go. School pictures of fifth cousins twice removed - it's the trash for you. Photos of craft projects friends have made, the birds in their yard, pictures of their roses - bye bye now. We throw away two garbage bags (the big 30 gallon ones) of photos.
Mom has DVD's and VHS tapes of the same movie - out go the VHS tapes. Out go the slippery pajamas, all the cans of pineapple that moved up here from FL (sorry Susan! All your packing out the window), the boxes of Jell-O. The bed, dresser, and night tables (all in the massive 1970's Mediterranean style) go to a friend of Ben's. Couch, lamps, bedding and other things get donated to TROSA.

We can't move in until the 16th, so Mom stays at Hillcrest one more night, which will be on her bill (more money!). We buy a day bed to serve as couch and bed, a TV stand with drawers, and a new dresser. She keeps her coffee table (has great storage), TV and knick knacks. We spend late nights putting together furniture. The TV stand is particularly disappointing, we get it put together 3/4's of the way to find there are holes not drilled and pieces missing.