This Sucks

July 2008 - November 2008

More of the same. Everyone frustrated, unhappy, guilty.

There's a wonderful service here called Doctors Making House Calls, who specialize in geriatric care. The doctors are all women, and they can do blood tests, etc. at your house. This is the only way I can get Mom to see a doctor now. It costs $100 a visit (for travel), since she isn't in an assisted living situation. Worth it.

My aunt comes for a few days in October. She gets Mom to take the bus, but not the Emerald Pond bus - the city bus!
I'm horrified - what if Mom decides she can do this by herself?! I have nightmarish visions of my tiny stroke brained mother lost somewhere in Durham at night.
On one trip, my aunt leaves her purse on the bus, (thankfully they find it and nothing is missing), and I have to drive down to the bus station near the airport to retrieve it. I self-righteously think to myself all the way down and back that this wouldn't have happened if they had taken the Emerald Pond bus! Of course Mom's on her best behavior the whole week.
With me, my mother acts like a spoiled child. She's happy her house hasn't sold. She refuses to acknowledge the dog is peeing in the house and needs to go out more. She insists on buying crappy food [Beneful] ("He likes it!") for him even though he's covered in hot spots from the corn (allergies). The vet has to write a note before she'll stop.

There's lots of crying (her), lots of yelling (me), lots of avoiding (more me), lots of guilt (me again). I feel like this is all I talk about. I honestly don't know how to help her. Or me.

I try to write a weekly synopsis for my siblings and rarely hear anything back from one of them. This. bugs. me. Tell me to f*** off, don't send another one because you can't deal with it, or even a simple one word response would be fine (suggestions - roger, thanks, okay, sucks, etc.). To hear nothing makes me feel alone.
We're all struggling to deal with this, but jiminy christmas, I am BY MYSELF down here! You don't have to spend excruciating hours in Wal-Mart with her, or get treated like shit every time you see/talk to her, or get hung up on, or listen to her cry - all you have to do is acknowledge a freakin' email.

An aside: from the above paragraph it's clear my "love language" is "Words of Affirmation." Second is "Quality Time" (33% and 30% respectively). Acts of Service 20%, Physical Touch 17%, Gifts 0%.

Anyway, things are not getting better here and it's been close to six months. If anything they are getting worse.