A ninja or shinobi was a covert agent or mercenary of feudal Japan specializing in unorthodox arts of war. The functions of the ninja included espionage, sabotage, infiltration, and assassination, as well as open combat in certain situations.
There I was in Kohl's with my 15% off coupon, slinking around in the Petite section, (obviously not for me). when the ninja snuck out from behind a stack of Croft and Barrow shirts and kicked the shit out of me.
I mean, one minute I was fine and the next - I was tearing up over a Cathy Daniels sweater - because it was something she would have worn before. Now it's elastic waist pants (zippers and buttons are too hard) and over your head shirts.