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Merry Christmas!

Earlier this week a package arrived. I laughed so hard when I saw the return address said PMS.

Part of the package was for Mom, so I took them over today.

First the photo book:
 The note on the envelope said to press the back for the message.
We poked and pressed and prodded. When I finally found the right spot and the recording started - it startled her.
Then she wanted to hear it again and again.
 She liked the magnet, but has no magnety place.
She had a hard time getting things open. 
A replacement mirror is in the little bag on the arm of the chair.
When she got to the last package she said,
"What did I get - five dollars? Don't ever say that to her. What the hell?" 
"Gee, those are great and they're all cooked!"
She decided they would be a good place for her necklaces.

We went to K&W for lunch, haven't been there since Thanksgiving. 
As we were waiting for a light to turn green, some neu-neu head started honking. (if I were queen, horns would only work in an emergency - not when the person behind me decides I should go a nanosecond after the light changes!) 

Me: [irritated] What's with the honking? (the light was still red)
Mom: "Where's the honkies?!"  
!!! I almost couldn't see to drive from the tears of laughter.

Her lunch consists of deviled eggs, country style steak, rice, some potato casserole thing made with ranch dressing, and buttered coconut pie. Most of the things she says she doesn't want when we get to the table. Oy.
Picking up an egg with her fork she said, "Okie dokie. I have a dokie, he died, quickly."

Okay, confession time.
There was a lot of eye rolling on my part during lunch today. Sometimes I just can't take it. The wrong utensil usage (eating meat with the knife blade) and the wrong usage of the right utensil (fork scooping instead of spearing), food dropping in her lap because she doesn't lean over the table, using the napkin to wipe her nose, (crap I just used ten seconds trying to recall how to spell wipe - scary!). SERENITY NOW!

PMS had sent me a big photo album - a .whole year in the life. It was in the car so Mom could look at it. 
She touched pictures of Sam when she was going through her Lupus treatment, "She has a lot of that (her face was very swollen from steroids). That makes me sad."
Then we'd turn to the back of the album, after Sam had completed her treatment so she could see Sam was looking like her old self.
A picture of Dakota playing soccer - she made car noises, "He's getting 'em."
A picture of my brother - "He's looking bigger. (older?)" 
She really liked one of Russ and Dakota showing their six four two packs. And the one (this was in her album) of my brother wearing a child's red cowboy hat on his grown up head.
Of a photo of Russ and Jill - "Are they still doing that?"


  1. You would be a kind and benevolent Queen of Horns. In my regime any traffic error (except mine or, okay, yours, should we ever make any) would result in a definite but not permanently debilitating electric shock -- first warning.
    "Honkies" is too funny. Watch out for them!
    Anon CP

  2. Glad your mom had fun with the gifts and lunch. Glad you had some laughs but sorry for the butt heads. Have a great5 week.