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Things That Are Bugging Me Today

1.) Why is my blog list over there on the left suddenly not updating three or four sites? Land of Cotton for one. and then kate for two. Or saying it can't find the URL - when I am on the very website Blogger says it can't find? Errrgghhhh.

2.) A. Feeling like I've had WAAAAAY too much caffeine, when I haven't.
     B. Feeling really tired.
     C. Feeling both of the above - at the same time.

3.) Getting an email from my unemployment counselor warning me that I'd missed my appointment - as I was sitting in the lobby wondering why he was fifteen minutes late. (Good thing I checked my email)

4.) Noticing I had mud on my pants during the above meeting.

5.) Getting "Pillars of the Earth" Disc 2 before "Pillars of the Earth" Disc 1.

Okay, enough of that. I'm not living in a tent in Haiti worrying about cholera, right?

My aunt and her husband came yesterday, a surprise visit. Mom seemed to recognize her sister, like she does me - perhaps not a name, but definitely as someone who "belongs" to her. We went to Bob Evans for supper. Mom ate her mashed potatoes with her knife. And wondered where her feet were.

My aunt asked if my siblings were helping out monetarily and seemed taken aback that they weren't. (and I thought to myself, why should they? We all got our own crosses to bear.)
It seemed goofy to ask that question and be offended when she didn't do it for her own mother (that I know of). 

My mother did all the post-op care after my grandmother's mastectomy, all the paperwork to get her/keep her on Medicaid, did her taxes, her grocery shopping (and listened to the complaining after the shopping), filled insulin syringes, made meals for everyone who sat at my grandmother's table in the nursing home several times a week, did her laundry, made almost daily visits, took her out to eat and shop, to doctor visits, etc. - all with a cancer riddled husband. From my view point it looked like my mother did all the work and mostly got a bitch slap for it, while the daughter who never even visited her after the mastectomy got all the glory.

Lest you think I be comparing my mother and my aunt to me and my sister, whoa there Nellie, I am not.
Because 1.) I am way more selfish than my mother could ever be. 
2.) my sister put up - to the tune of six weeks out here in a six month time period.

I just had a moment of firstborn bear totem-ness - as in - hey! only I can talk shit about my siblings. Not you. It's always been like that with our aunt. Goes back to her slapping my brother (oh no you di'int!) when he was like four. Funny how the pattern doesn't change.

I don't know where I'm going with this. Except - aren't families weird?


  1. Yes every family is weird in their own way. Personally I think you are doing an amazing job taking care of your mom.

  2. Repeat after me: "This is a test. This is only a test."

    Some days I repeat that 40 or 50 times. It helps. :)

    Oh, and thanks so very much for nominating my blog! I am honored. Truly.

    Hang in there.

    Blessings, Debra

  3. You do a great job with you mom Kim! My brother David did everything for my parents. He was selfless, my other brother took full advantage of my brother Dave, and managed to take nearly all my parents had. My brother Dave died a couple of years ago due to his selflessness and my other brother is sitting rich and smug. I miss David, he was my best friend. Very sad:-(